The Happy Farang [5/50]

I purposely started my slow journey to South America in Thailand, partly because Thailand is (sort-of) close to Australia and partly because it has always been an easy segue to the rest of the world (but for many Utopian seeking libertines, it may be the only destination). I first came to Thailand as a young backpacker in the early 1990s on my way to India, the same path I am retracing now, but I won’t stay long.

Thailand is an easily digestible destination simply because it is inflicted with all the tedious travel narratives of an exotic utopia (and the place is still full of pirates). But, unless you dig deep, there are perhaps not too many experiences and perspectives to be had in Thailand that will rattle your bones (although I am sure that there are exceptions to the rule). The number of travelers and tourists that come to Thailand is in the many millions which is ironic because everyone is trying to be so unique and alternative. It is sort of like Berlin in this respect.

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The main backpacker strip in Bangkok is called Koah San Road and in all my experience of 1960s hippy-trail backpacker haunts, nothing comes close. It is enormous, taking up a few blocks of the city, packed with scruffy sartorially challenged 20-somethings all year around (and there many varieties of hideous men’s shorts in the world). There is not much to do apart from eating and drinking and satisfying a few other fundamental human functions, but thankfully, many of Bangkok’s drawcards are within walking distance. After spending the first three days of my trip eating and drinking, eating and drinking, eating and drinking, I escaped the hedonistic museum and walked ten KMS to Chinatown.

And Chinatown in Bangkok is incredible. There is a main strip full of pirates gold (jewelers) with lots of small alleyways branching off, packed with treasures from all the workshops of Asia. There are thousands of small specialty shops bloated with stuff that would take many hours to ponder fully the reason for being. Especially the case in the food section; so many varieties of fish, fruit, vegetables, and meat, all canned and curated in a myriad of different ways.

When I was walking home to my dank little cell room in Lucky House in Koah San Road, I stumbled upon the gun district of Bangkok. I was especially taken by the lightweight Colt Defender handgun. It wasn’t exactly cheap, but legal to buy and it would fit easily in my backpack. It would have made the process of dealing with the touts in India much easier, but it only came in brushed silver and didn’t match my shorts at the time.

I am now on an Island in the South of Thailand. It took 18 hours to get here, including a long journey on a spew-boat. And it is raining. I want my narrative back.

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